nottakinmyheart (nottakinmyheart) wrote,

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well, things have still been going good. but starting to get a little annoyed with all of the picking on that i get in the mojo forums. its supposed to be non serious, but they are mean as hell sometimes in there. luckily i have a friend that is helping me learn the ropes a little bit. two of my friends arent on here as much as they used to be. so i dont have their help as much anymore. westicles deleted his account and then starwolf is working a lot and has stuff he has to deal with at home. so i'm learning to fend for myself in the forums. the student lounge and the religion forums are ok. its just the louisville's non-serious drivil forum that people seem to be jackasses in sometimes. i dont let them know it gets to me. i just say something back usually. but there are times when i just wish that person was here so i could say what i really wanted too. but i am a nice person. so i never say what i really want to when it comes to the forums. at least not in that one. i am just going to continue to keep being myself and those that take the time will come to like me for who i am. those that dont, i cant do anything about that. not everyone is going to like you in this lifetime or the next.

thursdays i really look forward too. but since westicles has deleted his account on mojo and starwolf isnt on there as much. i dont get to see or talk to either of them hardly at all. they are two of the guy friends i have that i can tell anything too. that i know wont give a fuck and still like me and appreciate me for who i am. those are the kind of people that i greatly respect. i'm starting to get their attitudes about not caring what other people think and saying what i want too. but that still doesnt replace them. i am not calling them either because i dont want to sound like the desperate friend that misses them. how lame would that be? call them up and be like, "yeah, i miss you, please come out on thursday or what ever." tell me how stupid that sounds! they would laugh at me probably!

no one reads my journal really, thankfully. so i dont have to worry about anyone knowing how i really feel about these things.
i have one friend that knows, but he is the only one that knows how much i miss those two. other than that i wont tell a soul. it wouldnt make a difference if i did anyway.

aside from all of that things are going great. i am gaining so much confidence and uplifting myself instead of putting myself down when someone else does. at the same time i dont bring myself down to their level and get back at them like they would probably want me too. i'm finding out who my real friends are pretty quickly. i'm still in the dating scene which is good for me right now. i dont think i could handle a serious relationship as of yet. i have done that my whole live long life since i started dating at nineteen. i was serious with every boyfriend i ever went out with. so now is just my time to unwind and live life and have fun while i still can. its working so far.

well, this is all for now. if anything else interesting happens the next couple of days i will be sure to type it in here.
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