well, life keeps getting more and more interesting with all the mojo people i'm meeting through friends i have known already for years. but i still miss some other friends a lot that i messed things up with. but i am too afraid to call and i refuse to let them know that i even care. being nice gets you no where, so why should i care. but i do. i can't help it. i just wish i wasn't so chickenshit to talk to them. but i'm just afraid i'll make more of a mess of things if i do. maybe it was meant to be this way. damn fate and her cruelty.